Growing up in a family that ran a ranch (beef cattle) and heavy equipment construction I learned to do many things the "men folk" did. Dad said go grease all the equipment, so you went and greased the equipment. Same for changing your vehicle oil or feeding the stock or whatever else needed doing.
Some things were a challenge for me, but not for my brother. I could not grab the hay hooks and throw that bale in the truck like my brother, oh no! I was the flip it end over end till it leaned on the tailgate and then heave it up. I still got the cows fed in winter though.
I have found that being of the female persuasion many men felt intimidated by what I knew how to do. I had been told once (while being dumped) that what did I need him for, I could do it all myself. I was so blown away. Who cares that I know how, who says I want to? I love heavy equipment and what it can do BUT I hate the greasy-sticky dirt that ends up on you and the dust you wear till the end of the day if you are the one stuck rolling the miles of new road, and just because I know how to change my oil doesn't mean I want to.
All of this to say I so resonated with your post. I'm proud to be a woman who knows how to do many things that many would consider to be for men. I agree that there should be no watered-down requirements. If you are built such (male or female) that you can pass the requirements or handle the task then more power to you, and if you can't, feel no shame, go find the things that bring out the best in you and those you love and do that to the utmost of your abilities.
I loved hearing your experience! Often women need to do the “man work” for various reasons, and it can force us to find ingenious ways of getting the job done since we’re physically different. We can come up with some pretty cool hacks... necessity is the mother of invention, after all.
That said, I believe hitting our physical limits helps us appreciate the opposite sex all the more and the unique strengths they possess. Partnership is key.
I've read a lot of your posts and I think your skills are pretty darned admirable. I guess my question would be, after reading your response: Why do you see yourself as a 5'5" MAN instead of an amazing 5'5" woman who is highly capable? You're fully a woman and I think when you associate your skill set with being a "man" you may be devaluing what we women, as women, can do.
"I know this: The IRS has gained 50% more tax revenue since women joined the workforce… but surely that can’t be the reason more women were encouraged to go to work, can it?" I could have stopped reading there, because you established your premise and sent me on a bunny trail. First, the govt didn't double its tax revenue when it doubled the gender inclusion in the workforce, for a variety of opinion-based reasons (lots of women were already working, women took lower-paying jobs--or if you are of that persuasion, their pay was unfairly lower--, expansion of the workforce pushed the supply/demand curve toward lower wages, etc.). Second, the voracious government spent more than its incremented revenue anyway (another bunny-trail opportunity). Since I'm not a bunny, though, the point I make in support of your premise is that when we married, my wife (and I) decided that her higher salary was less important than her desire to raise a family. It would require another bunny-trail for me to explain why I think my earning performance has never been good, but our decision for me to be the financial provider and sole wage-earner encouraged (forced?) me to man up and earn some income. We are both good at thrift and managing our resources, and committed to Godly living, so many of our friends and acquaintances would be surprised (disbelieving?) if they knew that in only two or three years of our now 37-year marriage did I earn above the official poverty line while we (mostly thanks to her expertise and motherliness and availability) raised four children to successful adulthood. (Hint: Goodwill and Salvation Army have been our 'major shopping destinations'.) We are debt-free, and I could go on. My point is that my wife fulfilled her role as a woman, and by the way her doing so helped me fulfill my role as a man.
You're correct in that I should not have said "doubled" when referring to the increased tax revenue. Creative license. I do believe the govt benefitted - more specifically, I should say "Federal Reserve" which is in no way Government. Anyway, I think taxation was an ancillary benefit, not the primary cause of encouraging both parents to work. The house of cards that is our society has been falling for a number of reasons, with the destruction of the family at the core.
I think it's admirable that you and your wife sacrificed economically to make choices that were in line with your values. That's difficult to do. For whatever reason you found working difficult (and I can imagine many!), kudos to you for doing what needed to be done and providing for your family.
Re-reading my initial reply, I can't understand how I turned what I meant to be a favorable comment into one that was at best ambivalent, and probably sounded challenging from a hostile direction. I did enjoy your essay and the things you point out and agree with the ideas behind your premise. I'll have to work on writing better. Kudos!
I’m not easily offended 😉 being autistic, I’m used to everyone reading me wrong so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Also I never mind being challenged... it sometimes leads to learning things! I appreciate your comments- all of them!
You are absolutely right! God made us - man and woman - and we are NOT the same for a reason! We have different roles to fill with different physical and emotional qualities to do so. We are meant to be partners and to complement one another. The women’s lib movement that I grew up with really didn’t do us, or our families, any favors. It convinced us that we weren't ‘good enough’ just being women that raised children and cared for our home and husband. I haven’t looked at it in this light until recently. We gave up ‘so much’ just to have more ‘things’ that require more money, more time and more energy to maintain….. and then delegate the raising our children, which is one of the most important jobs that we have, to others! And this is ‘having it all’? It only took me 60+ years to figure it out! We were so brainwashed! I am a strong woman - and I have no desire to be a man. I am so glad that I married a ‘real man’ - and he sounds a lot like yours. Thank u for another post which really spoke to me. God bless u and keep u warm!
Real men are a threat to the State. Yesterday I saw someone talking about some of the big tech companies that have plans to build inclusive cities for their workers. They’ll provide housing, stores, schools... their employees will be completely “card for” just like children.
Of course, you and I know this is just a modern iteration of the Mill Village where workers are trapped by debt to their employer. Slavery never ended, it just became more inclusive.
Anyway, plans like this only work when all men are Beta-males, with low testosterone and no useful skills. The women who believe and promote these lies are also to blame for the slavery system they’re creating. History keeps repeating...
We also live in extreme area difficult to get to...we live at 1300 level to exit we drive 3-4 miles up to 5300. Challenging in snow & ice forget about it! We have been saving for snowmobile or?? Wondering if you are happy with it or wish you had bought a different vehicle to “get out”? Thanks for the stories from one over achiever Tom boy to another.
Btw, we have a friend who posted on FB that he’d come get anyone’s unwanted snowmobile. He has collected about a dozen now for free in various conditions. A few are actually in ok shape. Just an idea... 😉
If money were no object, we’d buy tracks for the Jeep. They’re just like the tracks on tanks and bulldozers! Anyway, they’re outrageously expensive so that’s out.
We’re happy with our snowmobiles. We have an old one John likes to play on (easier to get unstuck) and we have a Skandic utility snowmobile we refer to as my Minivan. It’s great for hauling.
There are so many used snowmobiles on the market right now. It’s a good time to buy, if you need one.
Meanwhile, currently, we could drive 95% of the way home in the Jeep but wind and drifts can change so much overnight... as you probably know! It’s just smart to park at a lower elevation until winter is over.
Oh, well said, thank you so much! Mirrors my own thinking exactly! And I’m a female 9 year National Guard Army veteran, private pilot, alternative builder/wanna-be homesteader, and currently drive a box truck picking up furniture for a local non-profit. But I’ve never seen any of that as competition with the guys, I’m just doing my own thing, doing what I want to do and what I enjoy. And I know from experience that going it alone is extremely difficult and would much rather have complementary help. Thanks for saying it all so well!
Was literally just thinking about you today, that I haven't seen a post for a bit, and boom here you are. Ice rain here in Portland. I have lots of feeeeeelings about this subject you discuss, the first being that I was sort of the replacement baby for who would have been my slightly elder brother who died as an infant, and I think that affected me, perhaps via my family dynamics, in that I was very not into any girly stuff. Though I guess it was also the style at the time, (I as 6 in 1970). I took up both trombone and design because its what my Dad did. I didn't even know about my 'missing' brother until I was 12ish. In the last few years I have come to appreciate the differences between women and men, spent a few years in art class drawing both naked, and nothing will teach you more about the differences than that. I also think about how women, generally, are recognized to have more long range stamina, due to our fat stores/physiology. Trying to compete as equals seems to miss the point entirely, as the sexes seem to me to be more often complementary in both physical and mental/mindful ways. I also have to give a sad shoutout to plastics and phalates and the like messing with our levels of Testosterone etc. Glass not plastic. best
I was a tomboy too. I think family dynamics has a lot to do with the roles we adopt. As we age, though, I think we come into our true selves. I know I feel much more “me” now than I did when I was trying to prove how capable I (thought I) was.
This is hard to say, but if he had lived, I am not sure I would have been born. 4th child perhaps their limit. Impossible to guess. Would have been great to know him, and grow up with a closer in age brother. Your empathies appreciated beyond words.
Growing up in a family that ran a ranch (beef cattle) and heavy equipment construction I learned to do many things the "men folk" did. Dad said go grease all the equipment, so you went and greased the equipment. Same for changing your vehicle oil or feeding the stock or whatever else needed doing.
Some things were a challenge for me, but not for my brother. I could not grab the hay hooks and throw that bale in the truck like my brother, oh no! I was the flip it end over end till it leaned on the tailgate and then heave it up. I still got the cows fed in winter though.
I have found that being of the female persuasion many men felt intimidated by what I knew how to do. I had been told once (while being dumped) that what did I need him for, I could do it all myself. I was so blown away. Who cares that I know how, who says I want to? I love heavy equipment and what it can do BUT I hate the greasy-sticky dirt that ends up on you and the dust you wear till the end of the day if you are the one stuck rolling the miles of new road, and just because I know how to change my oil doesn't mean I want to.
All of this to say I so resonated with your post. I'm proud to be a woman who knows how to do many things that many would consider to be for men. I agree that there should be no watered-down requirements. If you are built such (male or female) that you can pass the requirements or handle the task then more power to you, and if you can't, feel no shame, go find the things that bring out the best in you and those you love and do that to the utmost of your abilities.
I loved hearing your experience! Often women need to do the “man work” for various reasons, and it can force us to find ingenious ways of getting the job done since we’re physically different. We can come up with some pretty cool hacks... necessity is the mother of invention, after all.
That said, I believe hitting our physical limits helps us appreciate the opposite sex all the more and the unique strengths they possess. Partnership is key.
Thank you for sharing!
100% agreed...my limits have always made me appreciate the opposite sex and their unique strengths.
Hm. Substitute butchering chickens for rabbits and, I think I might be one of those women mentioned toward the end.
I see myself as a 5'5" man in most instances and do whatever strikes me within the limitations of my smaller frame (not in a trans way)
This may be a topic that we don't totally agree on, but I love your message.
"Do it because you want to do it - for you'
I've read a lot of your posts and I think your skills are pretty darned admirable. I guess my question would be, after reading your response: Why do you see yourself as a 5'5" MAN instead of an amazing 5'5" woman who is highly capable? You're fully a woman and I think when you associate your skill set with being a "man" you may be devaluing what we women, as women, can do.
"I know this: The IRS has gained 50% more tax revenue since women joined the workforce… but surely that can’t be the reason more women were encouraged to go to work, can it?" I could have stopped reading there, because you established your premise and sent me on a bunny trail. First, the govt didn't double its tax revenue when it doubled the gender inclusion in the workforce, for a variety of opinion-based reasons (lots of women were already working, women took lower-paying jobs--or if you are of that persuasion, their pay was unfairly lower--, expansion of the workforce pushed the supply/demand curve toward lower wages, etc.). Second, the voracious government spent more than its incremented revenue anyway (another bunny-trail opportunity). Since I'm not a bunny, though, the point I make in support of your premise is that when we married, my wife (and I) decided that her higher salary was less important than her desire to raise a family. It would require another bunny-trail for me to explain why I think my earning performance has never been good, but our decision for me to be the financial provider and sole wage-earner encouraged (forced?) me to man up and earn some income. We are both good at thrift and managing our resources, and committed to Godly living, so many of our friends and acquaintances would be surprised (disbelieving?) if they knew that in only two or three years of our now 37-year marriage did I earn above the official poverty line while we (mostly thanks to her expertise and motherliness and availability) raised four children to successful adulthood. (Hint: Goodwill and Salvation Army have been our 'major shopping destinations'.) We are debt-free, and I could go on. My point is that my wife fulfilled her role as a woman, and by the way her doing so helped me fulfill my role as a man.
You're correct in that I should not have said "doubled" when referring to the increased tax revenue. Creative license. I do believe the govt benefitted - more specifically, I should say "Federal Reserve" which is in no way Government. Anyway, I think taxation was an ancillary benefit, not the primary cause of encouraging both parents to work. The house of cards that is our society has been falling for a number of reasons, with the destruction of the family at the core.
I think it's admirable that you and your wife sacrificed economically to make choices that were in line with your values. That's difficult to do. For whatever reason you found working difficult (and I can imagine many!), kudos to you for doing what needed to be done and providing for your family.
Re-reading my initial reply, I can't understand how I turned what I meant to be a favorable comment into one that was at best ambivalent, and probably sounded challenging from a hostile direction. I did enjoy your essay and the things you point out and agree with the ideas behind your premise. I'll have to work on writing better. Kudos!
I’m not easily offended 😉 being autistic, I’m used to everyone reading me wrong so I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Also I never mind being challenged... it sometimes leads to learning things! I appreciate your comments- all of them!
You are absolutely right! God made us - man and woman - and we are NOT the same for a reason! We have different roles to fill with different physical and emotional qualities to do so. We are meant to be partners and to complement one another. The women’s lib movement that I grew up with really didn’t do us, or our families, any favors. It convinced us that we weren't ‘good enough’ just being women that raised children and cared for our home and husband. I haven’t looked at it in this light until recently. We gave up ‘so much’ just to have more ‘things’ that require more money, more time and more energy to maintain….. and then delegate the raising our children, which is one of the most important jobs that we have, to others! And this is ‘having it all’? It only took me 60+ years to figure it out! We were so brainwashed! I am a strong woman - and I have no desire to be a man. I am so glad that I married a ‘real man’ - and he sounds a lot like yours. Thank u for another post which really spoke to me. God bless u and keep u warm!
Real men are a threat to the State. Yesterday I saw someone talking about some of the big tech companies that have plans to build inclusive cities for their workers. They’ll provide housing, stores, schools... their employees will be completely “card for” just like children.
Of course, you and I know this is just a modern iteration of the Mill Village where workers are trapped by debt to their employer. Slavery never ended, it just became more inclusive.
Anyway, plans like this only work when all men are Beta-males, with low testosterone and no useful skills. The women who believe and promote these lies are also to blame for the slavery system they’re creating. History keeps repeating...
That’s all interesting info!
Thank you for the time!!
Going to explore what makes sense…love the track idea..if only! I’ll report back when we pull trigger ❤️
Fun read!
We also live in extreme area difficult to get to...we live at 1300 level to exit we drive 3-4 miles up to 5300. Challenging in snow & ice forget about it! We have been saving for snowmobile or?? Wondering if you are happy with it or wish you had bought a different vehicle to “get out”? Thanks for the stories from one over achiever Tom boy to another.
Btw, we have a friend who posted on FB that he’d come get anyone’s unwanted snowmobile. He has collected about a dozen now for free in various conditions. A few are actually in ok shape. Just an idea... 😉
Hey fellow Tom girl!
If money were no object, we’d buy tracks for the Jeep. They’re just like the tracks on tanks and bulldozers! Anyway, they’re outrageously expensive so that’s out.
We’re happy with our snowmobiles. We have an old one John likes to play on (easier to get unstuck) and we have a Skandic utility snowmobile we refer to as my Minivan. It’s great for hauling.
There are so many used snowmobiles on the market right now. It’s a good time to buy, if you need one.
Meanwhile, currently, we could drive 95% of the way home in the Jeep but wind and drifts can change so much overnight... as you probably know! It’s just smart to park at a lower elevation until winter is over.
Oh, well said, thank you so much! Mirrors my own thinking exactly! And I’m a female 9 year National Guard Army veteran, private pilot, alternative builder/wanna-be homesteader, and currently drive a box truck picking up furniture for a local non-profit. But I’ve never seen any of that as competition with the guys, I’m just doing my own thing, doing what I want to do and what I enjoy. And I know from experience that going it alone is extremely difficult and would much rather have complementary help. Thanks for saying it all so well!
What a great role model you are! 😁
Was literally just thinking about you today, that I haven't seen a post for a bit, and boom here you are. Ice rain here in Portland. I have lots of feeeeeelings about this subject you discuss, the first being that I was sort of the replacement baby for who would have been my slightly elder brother who died as an infant, and I think that affected me, perhaps via my family dynamics, in that I was very not into any girly stuff. Though I guess it was also the style at the time, (I as 6 in 1970). I took up both trombone and design because its what my Dad did. I didn't even know about my 'missing' brother until I was 12ish. In the last few years I have come to appreciate the differences between women and men, spent a few years in art class drawing both naked, and nothing will teach you more about the differences than that. I also think about how women, generally, are recognized to have more long range stamina, due to our fat stores/physiology. Trying to compete as equals seems to miss the point entirely, as the sexes seem to me to be more often complementary in both physical and mental/mindful ways. I also have to give a sad shoutout to plastics and phalates and the like messing with our levels of Testosterone etc. Glass not plastic. best
I was a tomboy too. I think family dynamics has a lot to do with the roles we adopt. As we age, though, I think we come into our true selves. I know I feel much more “me” now than I did when I was trying to prove how capable I (thought I) was.
Sorry to hear about your brother ❤️
This is hard to say, but if he had lived, I am not sure I would have been born. 4th child perhaps their limit. Impossible to guess. Would have been great to know him, and grow up with a closer in age brother. Your empathies appreciated beyond words.